Why do I randomly hate this person?

I agree with what David Freiman said. Others hear said similar things, but I believe many of them have been unnecessarily harsh on you. Of course you need to grow up, you're a young teen. I don't think that reflects poorly on you in any way, you're right where almost every other young teen is. Unlike many in that situation, you realize your reaction to him us unreasonable, you do not act on it, and you are seeking helping understanding this part of yourself, all of which reflect very, very well on you.

You probably are seeing things in him that you don't like about yourself, as others have

I agree with what David Freiman said. Others hear said similar things, but I believe many of them have been unnecessarily harsh on you. Of course you need to grow up, you're a young teen. I don't think that reflects poorly on you in any way, you're right where almost every other young teen is. Unlike many in that situation, you realize your reaction to him us unreasonable, you do not act on it, and you are seeking helping understanding this part of yourself, all of which reflect very, very well on you.

You probably are seeing things in him that you don't like about yourself, as others have said. These are probably things about yourself that you are not even aware of. And you may really think his hairstyle looks stupid and gay. You might think that whoever had that hairstyle, I don't know. Is the problem that you think he is gay? You don't say, but I assume you're a boy. It is common at this stage of your life to have some confusion with your sexual orientation. Most kids go through this, do not make it mean anything. But do look at it. Is there a chance you are afraid you are gay? I went through that. I was seeing a therapist at the time and she told me what I just told you, that that was quite normal and did not mean I was. Turns out, I'm not.

If this fits for you, the next thing is to look at why that scares you. It does not mean you are a bad person. Anything outside what is normal to us tends to be frightening.

Now, whether any of this helps you or not, you still have the issue of this guy to deal with. I have more than once taken an instant dislike to someone for no apparent reason. Get to know him, as someone else here said. Not in a fake, suck-up kind of way. Just pretend you do not dislike him and see what you find. Even if you find you still don't like him, it will at least be based on something real, which will ease your stress a lot.

I have to say, I disagree with another answer here. Yes, children have seemingly random likes and dislikes. But that refers to a fickleness that is unique to very young children, not someone beginning secondary education. That fickleness also probably does not deal with feelings, which is what you're talking about.

I do not think your parents have failed you. Well, they may have, but you taking an instant dislike to someone certainly doesn't indicate that. By the way, this is not a random dislike, there are reasons. You just don't yet know what they are. You do not have to parent yourself because of this instant dislike. From the way you phrase the question, your parents are doing just fine by you, you can continue to respect them and rely on their guidance and support. Or, if you are a typical teen, you can continue to think they are stupid and definitely uncool. :)

Dear One,

I'm sure you are not a bad person. You are experiencing strong feelings for an unknown reason. You are mature enough not to act upon those feelings, but it is clearly troubling your conscience and you are cognizant enough of yourself to realize that there is something wrong here. Something doesn't add up.

Learn the expression, "I don't like about you, what I don't like about me."

Check out the book by Debbie Ford called The Dark Side of the Light Chasers. Which explores some of the ideas below.

There are aspects of his personality that you wish to suppress in yourself, so you demonize h

Dear One,

I'm sure you are not a bad person. You are experiencing strong feelings for an unknown reason. You are mature enough not to act upon those feelings, but it is clearly troubling your conscience and you are cognizant enough of yourself to realize that there is something wrong here. Something doesn't add up.

Learn the expression, "I don't like about you, what I don't like about me."

Check out the book by Debbie Ford called The Dark Side of the Light Chasers. Which explores some of the ideas below.

There are aspects of his personality that you wish to suppress in yourself, so you demonize him.

Try flipping it around. Since you are so fascinated with every detail of this fellow, why don't you make an effort to get to know him better? Get to understand him. And lighten up. Have a sense of humor about eccentric people. You may be a bit of an eccentric yourself to some of your classmates.

You may be surprised. He may turn out to become your best friend.

We can't like everyone we come across and you don't like this lad. Fortunately, you haven't shown how much you dislike him so just stay away from him and you won't hurt his feelings or embarrass him by being nasty to him.

You are still learning social "mores" and this will stand you in good stead later when you meet people through work who you might heartily dislike and who you have to tolerate. It's very hard to get along with some people and quite honestly - it's good for you to have this experience!

The other point I want to touch upon, is that there may well be people who don't like you for

We can't like everyone we come across and you don't like this lad. Fortunately, you haven't shown how much you dislike him so just stay away from him and you won't hurt his feelings or embarrass him by being nasty to him.

You are still learning social "mores" and this will stand you in good stead later when you meet people through work who you might heartily dislike and who you have to tolerate. It's very hard to get along with some people and quite honestly - it's good for you to have this experience!

The other point I want to touch upon, is that there may well be people who don't like you for seemingly no reason! You may never know who they are, but if they're not at school with you, then there will certainly be people in the future who will not like you. It may be just that you are not someone they can "gel" with or perhaps there will be a definitely reason.

You don't like this lad because of his appearance and being teacher's pet. Could it be that you are jealous? Think about that.

Normally that feeling comes from that person reminding you of someone who you actually hate for a good reason, or more likely, he is dressing or acting like you have been told not to. When we grow up parents will instill in us a disdain for behaviors they don't want us to do. Because of that nurture indoctrination we learn to really hate those things and when we see a person doing them the disdain is transferred to them.
The only way around that is to get to know that person and it will most likely override that feeling. Assuming the person isn't completely deserving of your hate. In that cas

Normally that feeling comes from that person reminding you of someone who you actually hate for a good reason, or more likely, he is dressing or acting like you have been told not to. When we grow up parents will instill in us a disdain for behaviors they don't want us to do. Because of that nurture indoctrination we learn to really hate those things and when we see a person doing them the disdain is transferred to them.
The only way around that is to get to know that person and it will most likely override that feeling. Assuming the person isn't completely deserving of your hate. In that case you will only hate them more, but at least you will have a reason to hate them then.

You know, we are only able to recognise in others the things that we ourselves possess. Otherwise, how would we know them when we see them?
To "hate" a person is too deeply personal to pass off as random. How are you and this kid similar? Look in a mirror and really try to see what it is you dislike in yourself that he seems to bring to mind. You will forgive him once you forgive yourself.
That being said, calling his hairstyle "gay" and calling his laugh "retarded" only makes you seem small minded, petty and in need of an emotional education. Be kind, and try to learn from this. What if

You know, we are only able to recognise in others the things that we ourselves possess. Otherwise, how would we know them when we see them?
To "hate" a person is too deeply personal to pass off as random. How are you and this kid similar? Look in a mirror and really try to see what it is you dislike in yourself that he seems to bring to mind. You will forgive him once you forgive yourself.
That being said, calling his hairstyle "gay" and calling his laugh "retarded" only makes you seem small minded, petty and in need of an emotional education. Be kind, and try to learn from this. What if someone treated you this way?

This is just my opinion and I'm no expert. Our brains are pattern detecting machines. Somewhere along the way, all this time, you picked up likes and dislikes. Something about this guy is setting particular dislikes off in your brain. It could even just be jealousy or annoyance! It happens to everyone.

I once had a teacher like that, whom to this day, I cannot understand why we both disliked each other. Some people you meet, they just do every little thing you find annoying. I was that person to her, she was like that to me.

~ Now you asked for help: here is my best advice.

The idea is to be mat

This is just my opinion and I'm no expert. Our brains are pattern detecting machines. Somewhere along the way, all this time, you picked up likes and dislikes. Something about this guy is setting particular dislikes off in your brain. It could even just be jealousy or annoyance! It happens to everyone.

I once had a teacher like that, whom to this day, I cannot understand why we both disliked each other. Some people you meet, they just do every little thing you find annoying. I was that person to her, she was like that to me.

~ Now you asked for help: here is my best advice.

The idea is to be mature, tolerant and open-minded. You may have your differences, but be civil. Nobody's forcing you to be friends, but try to put in some effort to get along and be neutral. It's the least you can do.

Also, don't think about it too much, since the more you think about it, the more you'll frustrate yourself. Make peace and try to put your best foot forward. That's pretty much all there is to it.

Wish you all the best. Good luck.

It sounds like you need to grow up a bit.

The fact that you call his hairstyle gay and his laugh retarded, shows immaturity and a lack of compassion and understanding of others.

Throughout our lives there will be lots of people we dislike, sometimes for valid reasons, sometimes for no clear reason at all.

The fact that someone you hardly know and barely interact with can upset you just by existing does not reflect well upon you.

Hopefully growing up and being exposed to a variety of people unlike yourself will fix the problem. In the meantime, try to concentrate on improving yourself,

It sounds like you need to grow up a bit.

The fact that you call his hairstyle gay and his laugh retarded, shows immaturity and a lack of compassion and understanding of others.

Throughout our lives there will be lots of people we dislike, sometimes for valid reasons, sometimes for no clear reason at all.

The fact that someone you hardly know and barely interact with can upset you just by existing does not reflect well upon you.

Hopefully growing up and being exposed to a variety of people unlike yourself will fix the problem. In the meantime, try to concentrate on improving yourself, not someone else.

You are most likely projecting. You see in him the things you hate about yourself, and since hating yourself is uncomfortable, you transfer that feeling of disgust onto him.

I know the feeling you're experiencing, it's boggled me too and made me feel like an awful person. I could theorize that perhaps you dislike this person because you have your own self-doubts... So you seek flaws in others to make yourself feel better.

You might be projecting. This is reacting negatively when seeing traits of yourself in another person.
Are you a little insecure about your hair, the sound of your laugh, your relationship with the teacher? Think on that.
Your inexplicable emotions/reactions are often clues to something about yourself. Use it as a learning experience.

Children don't like things for random reasons. They like chicken one day and the next day they hate it. An hour later they like it again. As one matures, one's tastes begin to have purpose and meaning, if we are mindful. If we go through life being oblivious to the rest of the world and what it has to offer, our tastes may not mature appreciably. Parents are instrumental in introducing their children to the world and helping them understand their role in it. It is also a parent's job to make sure their children care about others and have a charitable attitude toward everyone.
Not everyone is w

Children don't like things for random reasons. They like chicken one day and the next day they hate it. An hour later they like it again. As one matures, one's tastes begin to have purpose and meaning, if we are mindful. If we go through life being oblivious to the rest of the world and what it has to offer, our tastes may not mature appreciably. Parents are instrumental in introducing their children to the world and helping them understand their role in it. It is also a parent's job to make sure their children care about others and have a charitable attitude toward everyone.
Not everyone is well suited to being a parent. Yours dropped the ball here and you will need to parent yourself until you mature enough to care for your fellow humans. I hope you are able to do it. It leads to happiness.