Why do I keep searching for something I don't even know?

One desires what they have never experienced..
BECAUSE THIS WORLD IS STACKED TO THE RIM OF ENDLESS REPETITION.

  1. Madden 97,98,99,01, 04 , 08 , 13 , 19 … .. . . . .
  2. Board game concepts endlessly redrawn and named, tweaked here and there.
  3. All sports over n over n over n over, 3 .. 2 .. HE THROWS IT UP .. 1 … woohoo..
  4. Movies replicated and remade like a sickness.
  5. School, work, family , die. RINSE AND REPEAT.
  6. That damn Sun comes up so often, I kind of want to see it not one day, just to mix it up, even though I have no delusion of how completely screwed and dead that would make us. (and that’s not what I

One desires what they have never experienced..
BECAUSE THIS WORLD IS STACKED TO THE RIM OF ENDLESS REPETITION.

  1. Madden 97,98,99,01, 04 , 08 , 13 , 19 … .. . . . .
  2. Board game concepts endlessly redrawn and named, tweaked here and there.
  3. All sports over n over n over n over, 3 .. 2 .. HE THROWS IT UP .. 1 … woohoo..
  4. Movies replicated and remade like a sickness.
  5. School, work, family , die. RINSE AND REPEAT.
  6. That damn Sun comes up so often, I kind of want to see it not one day, just to mix it up, even though I have no delusion of how completely screwed and dead that would make us. (and that’s not what I wish for).
  7. Let’s go to the bar, what shall we do at the bar.. exact same thing we do every night Pinky. “Try hard to forget how ridiculously bored we are.
  8. I’m going to touch and skip over this one quick, it’s so bad I don’t even want to think about it.. The 70% - 90% of jobs. The horrid life claiming second counting rage educing hourly murmuring devil himself,
    THE CLOCK.
  9. So what do you want to do? I don’t know.. EVERYTHING is massively inflated, sold, built up in bragging exaggerating promoting bullsh!t in order to give the appearance of how awesome of a time someone had. Your memory refracted by imagination has a whole lot more fun than you do. By this I just mean if you take an awesome night you lived from a couple years ago, it was so fun, on and on you go. Revisit it watching that night and yourself exactly like you were there, I bet you $100 that it wasn’t as awesome as you thought. Surely this can be wrong, if everyone bets I’m coming out phat. The point isn’t to get the perfect night that actually was legit fantastic to you, it does happen of course. The point is when measuring a handful of those nights, you will no longer agree with yourself more than most.

That answer is complete.
Another few ideas.

  • Adventurism.
  • Spiking of adrenaline.
  • The glory of being the first or experience the first time. New to you is new. Regardless how many times it’s been done.
  • People want what they can’t have, this is natures evolution, to inspire the thriving activities it will take to get it.
  • The enjoyment of fear of the unknown.
  • Plain ol curiosity didn’t really kill the cat, that’s why they are thought to have 9 lives. Nope, he was just fine 8:9 times. Which is enough if you ask a cat to stick it’s head into a deep dark hole (hell, who knows there might just be a mouse in there).

    P E A C E .
  • p.s. and .. WHY THE HELL NOT.

We search for something ‘missing’ in our lives. Like falling in love, we know there is something, some condition called ‘love’, but until we experience it first hand, we don’t know, cannot know what it is.

Maybe its a sense of lack, of being unfulfilled, you don’t know what it is but there’s sense that something important in one’s life is missing, that I have not found as yet that needs looking for, but, I don’t know where to start. Often young folk have this sense, it may lead them to religion, spirituality, infatuation or purpose.

How do we know we’ve found it? not by words, though we may find

We search for something ‘missing’ in our lives. Like falling in love, we know there is something, some condition called ‘love’, but until we experience it first hand, we don’t know, cannot know what it is.

Maybe its a sense of lack, of being unfulfilled, you don’t know what it is but there’s sense that something important in one’s life is missing, that I have not found as yet that needs looking for, but, I don’t know where to start. Often young folk have this sense, it may lead them to religion, spirituality, infatuation or purpose.

How do we know we’ve found it? not by words, though we may find we have plenty to say, on recognising what we have found. But rather by value, whatever it is, when we experience for the first time we have been given a gift, an effect, a sense of value that fills some part of our being that needed filling.

We know we have found “it”, whatever it is, by an emotion, a feeling, a sense of “Yes” this is it! A senses of delight, that lightens us. We may only touch the edge of this exquisite sense, and realise a lot of work on a relationship, on a search for meaning lies ahead, but now we know, we or on the right track, heading in definite direction.

When we are young, time can drag, a sense of ennui pervades our being. We have the feeling nothing is ever going to change. We often lack a sense of direction. There are moments of enjoyment, with friends or doing things we enjoy, but still something is missing, and we don’t know, at this age, what it is. That was my own experience as a youth, for a time.

Thanks for the A2A

Almost everyone has a need to feel fulfilled in their lives, and it sounds like you haven't yet found the thing that makes you feel fulfilled. You won't know what it is until you find it. That sucks. I have found mine in the strangest place - another human. I generally avoid humans like the plague, and never thought I'd actually WANT to have a human in my life ever for any reason at all. That's exactly what I found on my search, in the last possible place to look (it always happens to be the last place you look that you find it) and that was it. The world is a strange and inn

Thanks for the A2A

Almost everyone has a need to feel fulfilled in their lives, and it sounds like you haven't yet found the thing that makes you feel fulfilled. You won't know what it is until you find it. That sucks. I have found mine in the strangest place - another human. I generally avoid humans like the plague, and never thought I'd actually WANT to have a human in my life ever for any reason at all. That's exactly what I found on my search, in the last possible place to look (it always happens to be the last place you look that you find it) and that was it. The world is a strange and innocent monster (phrase credit - Kefan Xu) with pitfalls and setbacks everywhere. You'll know what you're looking for only when you find it and not before.

Cheers

The Boogeyman

“Why do I keep searching for something I don't even know?”

This path is called faith. You humble yourself and got prepared to experience the unexpected. You ditch your spot torch in favour of flood torch. You keep desire alight.

It’s the attitude of nothing is either good or bad, joyful or sad…The very fine threaded, middle way path.

Socrates said: “I know only one thing that I know nothing; the art of Eros (love)”

The opposite would have been: “I keep searching for something I know”. But since nothing can be known (how could it be when everything is in constant motion?) you would have been lookin

“Why do I keep searching for something I don't even know?”

This path is called faith. You humble yourself and got prepared to experience the unexpected. You ditch your spot torch in favour of flood torch. You keep desire alight.

It’s the attitude of nothing is either good or bad, joyful or sad…The very fine threaded, middle way path.

Socrates said: “I know only one thing that I know nothing; the art of Eros (love)”

The opposite would have been: “I keep searching for something I know”. But since nothing can be known (how could it be when everything is in constant motion?) you would have been looking to confirm an opinion. The deceitful, pride path.

From the above it follows that one who walks on faith has as life purpose not a “thing” (“fulfilled” and/or knowledge, which is impossible and illogical) but a process; desiring

Hello, its all about the mind, your subconscious mind actually. Chances are that you’ve either seen, heard, or felt what you’re searching for but you aren’t conscious as to what exactly it is. But you should let it flow, don't let “the squelcher” in your mind suppress your thoughts. It might turn out to be useful information that could save a life, or maybe not.

That is the very nature of human beings isn't it? We crave to know, understand and observe the new . The curiosity lives within you, me and everyone. But some suppress it, some express it.

Let that 'something' flow through your mind. It's not unusual if that's what you are asking. Someday, it'll click.

Others have answered your question well - I'll just add my two cents. Fundamentally your question reflects a sense of a lack of meaning in life. You say you don't know what you're looking for, but as others have identified, it's clear enough from the outside: you lack purpose, a deeper sense of meaningfulness in your life.
There is a distinction between meaning and happiness, if by 'happiness' we mean feeling "up", excited, cheerful. Because parties and travel and buying nice stuff often make us feel happy in this superficial sense, as a young person it is easy to do what you've done: flit fr

Others have answered your question well - I'll just add my two cents. Fundamentally your question reflects a sense of a lack of meaning in life. You say you don't know what you're looking for, but as others have identified, it's clear enough from the outside: you lack purpose, a deeper sense of meaningfulness in your life.
There is a distinction between meaning and happiness, if by 'happiness' we mean feeling "up", excited, cheerful. Because parties and travel and buying nice stuff often make us feel happy in this superficial sense, as a young person it is easy to do what you've done: flit from one short-lived pleasurable experience to another, without confronting the deeper question of what you're doing with your life. There comes a time though - and clearly that time has arrived for you - when these experiences cease to satisfy. Parties feel a bit shallow and pointless, new places start to seem the same, the shopping high leaves an ashen taste. The low-hanging fruits of novelty get scarcer and scarcer.
It's very tempting to want to climb just a little higher to grab the novelties that are just slightly further up the tree. Maybe a proper boyfriend will offer something new. Maybe kids. Indeed, a serious relationship or children might offer some of the missing sense of meaning, but I'd caution against grasping too quickly at those solutions, which haven't come from within you, but rather are society's ready-made answers for women of your age.
Instead I'd suggest embracing this experience of uncertainty, going more deeply into your own questions. This searching is important; it's part of becoming a deeper, wiser human being. You might be helped by a therapist at this point, but I'd suggest someone with possibly a Jungian or an existential therapy background - you don't need anti-depressants or cognitive-behavioural correction. You need someone to sit with you in the questioning.
In entering into this crisis you are experiencing, you might like to bear in mind the distinction between happiness and meaning I made earlier. Our shallow, consumer-focussed society teaches us to satisfy desires in order to achieve happiness. But what if feeling 'up' all the time is the wrong goal? People who do work which they personally find deeply meaningful are not necessarily 'happier' in that sense. But they do report a deep level of life satisfaction. They are anchored in their purpose, and this sustains them even when they feel sad or anxious. Consider someone working as an aid worker or a war correspondent. As an empathetic person, is it possible to feel 'happy' surrounded by such misery? Unlikely, yet people choose such occupations and find them deeply rewarding.
You've come here asking for answers, but I'm saying the answers have to come from within your own seeking, a process that actually never ends, but leads us deeper into our lives. Follow your own strange impulses, break the spell of habit. Do something you've wanted to do but were too afraid to. Most importantly, don't stop asking the questions.

Hi Greg - thank you for the question and I am really sorry that you are feeling in a state of ‘limbo’ at the moment. I will speak from experience as I have been through some depression and that ‘lost’ feeling in my life. I am mature in years now and have many stories to impart, not least just recovering from a life threatening illness.

You say you saw a shrink this summer (your words). I would prefer you to say a ‘therapist’. Shrink is an old description of what is something that is very common in today’s world - therapy and counselling.

Yet you say in the comment box that you have all these fee

Hi Greg - thank you for the question and I am really sorry that you are feeling in a state of ‘limbo’ at the moment. I will speak from experience as I have been through some depression and that ‘lost’ feeling in my life. I am mature in years now and have many stories to impart, not least just recovering from a life threatening illness.

You say you saw a shrink this summer (your words). I would prefer you to say a ‘therapist’. Shrink is an old description of what is something that is very common in today’s world - therapy and counselling.

Yet you say in the comment box that you have all these feelings of feeling ‘void’ and ‘lonely’ and asking us to help. How can we know your situation in order to give proper advice? To me I have to be honest and say that it does not appear that you have had enough sessions with your therapist to really get to the crux of the problem. Maybe it was the wrong therapist for you and you need to ‘shop around’ a little more. Not every counsellor/therapist will bond with their clients and vice versa and sometimes we need to change and search out the ‘one that fits’.

Without wishing to be your therapist per se, I have to say I think you are over-thinking and over-analysing too much, and this is bringing on some anxiety. None of us, repeat NONE OF US, know what is around the corner, what fate is awaiting us. What kind of job we are likely to get? If we are doing the right thing at a particular time of our life? And yes, we are ALL going to meet challenges and have some successes and failures. You must take that on board as a given. Do not look too far. Stay in the present. Concentrate on passing your grades as a first priority, then get to thinking about a job etc. One step at a time is the way to go. Get a pencil and paper. Make a list of priorities. 1. seek a new therapist for some extra sessions because it is apparent closure was not attained 2. concentrate on passing exams. 3. re-look at social life in an effort to get out more and stop thinking and over-thinking. This way you are bound to meet new friends too. 4. Think about a group activity such as yoga - it will really help being in a group situation and getting your mind/body/spirit together 5. Learn simple mindfulness meditation techniques to allow you to keep in the present moment. 6. Get motivated to get a little exercise. Maybe half an hour walk daily. Eat healthier. 7. Targets and goals for the future can be written last. Make sure they are realistic.

Last but not least Greg, there comes a time, especially at a young age when one is starting on the springboard of life, that we all tend to feel lost and unsure of ourselves. Then frustration starts to build, and our confidence gets knocked (even though you say yours is getting better). You are not alone, and there is help out there. Seek some support from people who will professionally talk to you and allow you to express your inner most feelings. Good luck.

First, I will give you a little task. Let's see how you do and then I'll answer your original question. Okay, ready? It’s pretty simple…

Don't think of the color blue.

Alright, now quick! Name a color, any color!

If you said blue, well your not abnormal.. But I just told you to not think of the color blue! Your probably wondering what this all has to do with your question in any way. The answer is in retraining your brain and furthermore, coming to understand exactly what your brain and entire being are trying to tell you.

Now here's the answer to your question:

Meditate.

Truly get in tune with your

First, I will give you a little task. Let's see how you do and then I'll answer your original question. Okay, ready? It’s pretty simple…

Don't think of the color blue.

Alright, now quick! Name a color, any color!

If you said blue, well your not abnormal.. But I just told you to not think of the color blue! Your probably wondering what this all has to do with your question in any way. The answer is in retraining your brain and furthermore, coming to understand exactly what your brain and entire being are trying to tell you.

Now here's the answer to your question:

Meditate.

Truly get in tune with yourself and what your entire being is trying to tell you. We all know sappy quotes such as “Stop looking and you'll find what you've been looking for”… etc, and in so many ways these are valid truths. But what none of these sayings tell you truly is how difficult it is it just simply ‘stop'. It is more difficult for our brains to stop thinking about something than it is to begin to think about something new. When I told you to NOT think of the color blue, at whatever level, your brain only processed the word blue. Even if you dont know right now what your searching for, at some level, you are completely aware of what it is. The key is not in stopping the search, but quenching the thirst so you can begin to think about something new.

Meditation, is getting in touch with your soul at every level. It doesn't even have to be the stereotyped, cross legged, eyes closed, humming that we think of it as. Simply take 5 minutes to start out where you just sit in silence and clear you mind of all thought. Personally I envision a white room. Just nothingness. I don't even imagine myself in the room or anything other than pure nothingness, because that in itself is a thought. Literally clear your brain and mind of all thoughts. Just be with yourself for however long you alot. You will come to find, and I'm confident in saying, that it wont even take long before your soul tells you exactly what you have been searching for.

It may even be just that; the time that you needed to acknowledge yourself. There may not even be a set answer or thing that you needed to find. It may not even take much to accomplish this thing that you may find. But your intuitive mind and being will tell you exactly what you need to be able to stop searching for whatever you were trying to find.

This isn't some spiritual or new age suggestion. It's basic science and biology that tells us we never crave or desire something that we don't want at some level.

Instead of thinking about stopping the search you have to think about satisfying the need so you can begin to focus on something else. It's just the way the brain and mind work. Good luck:)

I have been at this point and really started pondering why I felt the way I did. On this side of heaven, I think we will always be prone to feeling incomplete. We live in a broken world filled with pain, discord, and death. However, living with a deep and knawing feeling that something is missing could be several factors at work:

  1. You are disconnected from others. For ten years, I had a schedule that ensured I didn’t have a thriving social life. I worked at a university, taught every evening until 8:30 PM and had alot of work obligations on the weekend. Though I loved my career, I began to feel

I have been at this point and really started pondering why I felt the way I did. On this side of heaven, I think we will always be prone to feeling incomplete. We live in a broken world filled with pain, discord, and death. However, living with a deep and knawing feeling that something is missing could be several factors at work:

  1. You are disconnected from others. For ten years, I had a schedule that ensured I didn’t have a thriving social life. I worked at a university, taught every evening until 8:30 PM and had alot of work obligations on the weekend. Though I loved my career, I began to feel like something was missing. And there was something missing indeed. I didn’t have the fuel of friendships and supportive relationships in my life. I began to wilt like a unwatered plant and became isolated and lonely. Long story short, I quit my job recently and am embarking on new endeavors. I have made efforts to make new friends, join clubs and organizations, and involve myself in volunteering. I feel way more “complete” than I have in a long time, and it’s simply because I am connected to other human beings. Social connectedness is not optional if you want to be a thriving healthy human being.
  2. You are disconnected from God. I believe that true life is in God, the author and finisher of faith. There is deep peace in knowing God and being in communion with the One who oversees all things.
  3. You are stagnant. Perhaps you are simply bored and have been in a rut too long. Start a new side gig, take a trip to a new place, take a class, find a new hobby, etc. I normally feel like something is missing from life unless I constantly challenge myself to conquer new things, acquire a new skill, or experience something new.
  4. You are too focused on yourself. I don’t say this judgmentally. :) During my self examination, I realized life was all about me, and I wasn’t making any effort to volunteer or give of myself for the good of others. So, I became a mentor at an elementary school and started reading with at-risk kids once a week. I also started volunteering with refugees who wanted to learn English. These things filled me up and gave me so much joy.

I hope this is helpful to you. Life is all about self examination and adjustment when necessary. All the best to you!

This feeling that is more to life than what you are experiencing is your gut nudging you to do something differently.

Mmm! Something. What can that be?

Well, only you will know. Learn by listening and feeling. There will be times when it is stronger. I remember feeling like this when I was married. It was boring. It didn’t matter what I did to enliven my life, I remained unsatisfied. After two years of trying lots of things, I announced I was leaving.

I didn’t feel relief or satisfied immediately because of the emotional upheaval of ending a marriage but, it turned out to be the best thing I coul

This feeling that is more to life than what you are experiencing is your gut nudging you to do something differently.

Mmm! Something. What can that be?

Well, only you will know. Learn by listening and feeling. There will be times when it is stronger. I remember feeling like this when I was married. It was boring. It didn’t matter what I did to enliven my life, I remained unsatisfied. After two years of trying lots of things, I announced I was leaving.

I didn’t feel relief or satisfied immediately because of the emotional upheaval of ending a marriage but, it turned out to be the best thing I could do.

So, what’s happening in your life that is creating this dissatisfaction? Make changes.

Regret

You mentioned that your fear may lead to regrets later in your life. The delicious thing about regret is that we experience it for the things we didn’t do. When we stayed small. When we chose not to step up. When we chose to keep the status quo.

To avoid regret is simple. Take action.

This ties in nicely with the feeling of dissatisfaction. To resolve that requires action. To avoid regret requires action.

Action

This may feel a bit overwhelming as the precise action required is unclear.

What is so delicious about action is you get feedback very quickly that you are on the right path.

You don’t need to know where you are going to take action. I know there are lots of books that says we have to have goals and plans and action plans. That’s great and they have their place, just not here now.

You have a fuzzy feeling that all is not well. It will take action to determine what is really required to be changed.

Once you know what is required, then you can set goals, plans etc OR you can continue to take action with baby steps and see what turns up.

We never know what all the possibilities are. So, baby steps are a great way of spotting new opportunities that turn up daily.

With taking baby steps, you receive feedback that you are on the right path. Here’s an example: I do house sitting assignments and I started out doing them for free. I learned how to ask great questions to ascertain whether the home and pets would be suitable. Now, people are paying me to do this. I didn’t set out to do this. A year ago, I was living in a different country doing something completely different. Now, I have the beginnings of an income stream and I still have time to walk a dog, cook nice food, write.

Last point, is this normal?

Sadly, I think your experience is more normal than many people would admit. We all like to pretend we have a great life, great friends, great relationships, plenty of money to pay the bills etc. Yet, we are all walking through life with baby steps.

For some people, they decide baby steps are too hard and settle. This means life doesn’t change much yet it slowly gets smaller and smaller.

For others, they do baby steps for a while and think they have arrived so then stop. Then life gets a bit testy and they start taking baby steps again.

Finally, there is a group of people who realised that life is all about the baby steps. That it’s ok to go up a cul de sac, to have setbacks because these meanderings are giving them the skills required for something further along. These people trust that everything will be ok in the end.

Be one of the last group. This group isn’t as big as the others but they certainly have the greatest level of satisfaction and love life. Love life and life will love you a thousand times more.