What do you do when your friend keeps pissing you off and keeps letting you down?

I guess I’m not understanding something:

Why do you want a friend who isn’t a pleasure to be around? What is it you find appealing or attractive about this person who keeps doing this?

Someone who is always pissing you off and letting you down just cannot be that much fun to be around.

Instead of investing your time and money with someone who keeps pissing you off and letting you down, how about spending that time finding/being with people who will not piss you off and let you down?

I’d frankly rather be alone then be with people like your “friend”.

You've got two choices; stay in the relationship or end it.

I don't like to change people although others do. I know when someone tries to change me I just dig my heels in and probably piss them off more. If they're at a point in life that the way they're treating you is the best they can do, why would you demand more?

If you're going to maintain ties with your friend and if they've proven to be unreliable, the smart thing to do is to stop relying on them. There's a reason for the phrase "fair weather friend" coming about and it's because it's common that people we call friends are more commo

You've got two choices; stay in the relationship or end it.

I don't like to change people although others do. I know when someone tries to change me I just dig my heels in and probably piss them off more. If they're at a point in life that the way they're treating you is the best they can do, why would you demand more?

If you're going to maintain ties with your friend and if they've proven to be unreliable, the smart thing to do is to stop relying on them. There's a reason for the phrase "fair weather friend" coming about and it's because it's common that people we call friends are more commonly acquaintances. So, treat him as an acquaintance with casual conversation. The more casual the conversation, the easier it'll be to end it, as well. Win, win.

You need to discuss what behaviors of your friend are pissing you off with your friend. There is a chance that they dont know what it is that they are doing that pisses you off. They may not even know they are pissing you off.

So you will need to be clear about what behaviors they have that piss you off. If you can't define the behaviors that piss you off, consider the fact that it's not their behavior that you don't like, it's possible that it is them that you do not like.

In that case, figure out exactly what it is about them that you do not like. If you can help them to improve in those are

You need to discuss what behaviors of your friend are pissing you off with your friend. There is a chance that they dont know what it is that they are doing that pisses you off. They may not even know they are pissing you off.

So you will need to be clear about what behaviors they have that piss you off. If you can't define the behaviors that piss you off, consider the fact that it's not their behavior that you don't like, it's possible that it is them that you do not like.

In that case, figure out exactly what it is about them that you do not like. If you can help them to improve in those areas, do what you can to help them. If you can't figure out what it is about them that you don't like, consider the idea that you actually don't like an outside circumstance that is affecting your perception of your friend.

If it is an outside circumstance that is to blame, have a conversation with your friend where you discuss the outside problems affecting your friendship. Work out a plan wher you can either eliminate the problems or if that's not possible, at least minimize the effects of those problems. Work together to solve the problems.

If it is not due to any outside influence, the problem is likely that you don't really like yourself.

If the problem is that you don't like yourself, that is a big problem. I don't think I can help on that one, I don't particularly like myself either.

you need to have a serious talk with them to discuss this issue as this can effect your friendship with them

Sit them down for a face to face crucial conversation about how their action have made you feel. Make space for them to speak uninterrupted about their perspective and ask they give you the same while you share yours. No blaming, no interrupting, getting defensive or scoffing, just listen. Then look for common ground on how to improve the relationship.

It’s wonderful that you recognize that you are clingy; admitting your problem is the first step in solving it.

Why is this behavior happening?

Why do you think you’re clingy? Are you under confident ? Do you have issues with abandonment? Do you suffer from a mental illness? Knowing the source of your clinginess and addressing it with professional help/ counseling is probably your very best recourse.

What can you do about it?

As you recover, try to curb your clingy behavior. It’s important to realize that everyone’s tolerance level to a clinger is different, as is their reaction. If the person that

It’s wonderful that you recognize that you are clingy; admitting your problem is the first step in solving it.

Why is this behavior happening?

Why do you think you’re clingy? Are you under confident ? Do you have issues with abandonment? Do you suffer from a mental illness? Knowing the source of your clinginess and addressing it with professional help/ counseling is probably your very best recourse.

What can you do about it?

As you recover, try to curb your clingy behavior. It’s important to realize that everyone’s tolerance level to a clinger is different, as is their reaction. If the person that you’re clinging to is a kind person, they may have a difficult time being direct with you about your behavior. They may throw out hints hoping that you’ll give them space, but you may not recognize those hints. Or, they may be direct about needing boundaries, hurting your feelings and possibly making you cling more. Often, the more you cling, the greater the chances are that your friend will distance themselves from you permanently.

As someone who has been on the receiving end of a clingy friend here are the behaviors that push me away and some suggestions :

  • Daily phone calls—especially calls that are long—It’s important to take into consideration the other person’s schedule and lifestyle. Try limiting your calls to once or twice a week and make their length no longer than 30 minutes.
  • Constant texts— Texts a few times a week are fine.
  • Calling the person the minute you see the “text bubble” that indicates they’re in the middle of texting you. Allow them to make the choice to call you—they’re probably texting to avoid a long phone call.
  • Manipulative phone messages or texts that make me feel forced to make contact when I really don't want to. Example: “I really worry when I don’t hear from you? Are you alright?? Text or call—I can’t stop worrying.” Be patient, they’ll call back when they’re ready.
  • The assumption that my friend is welcome to do everything with me. Example, “Oh, you’re going to the grocery store, I’ll come with you.” Sometimes I just want to quickly get my chores done without a companion—or I want to be alone with my thoughts. Wait to be invited.
  • Gifts for no occasion. This makes me uncomfortable and I feel like it’s a manipulation technique to make me feel obligated to spend time with my clingy friend when I really might have had something else planned. A small birthday or Christmas gift is understandable, but gifts out-of-the-blue are too much. Don’t purchase a gift unless you’ve both agreed to a gift exchange.
  • Assuming that because I’m retired that I’m not busy. I have hobbies, family and other friends that I also want to spend time with. Realize that your friend has many facets and respect their time and interests.
  • Not taking “no” for a final answer- I might ask my friend for a raincheck because I’m busy when they call to ask me over for coffee. Instead of accepting that I’ll have coffee with them another day, they reply with “What time do you think you’ll be done?” or “I can come over and help you finish up, so we can hang out.” Sometimes my version of busy is finishing up the book I’m reading, the blanket I’m crocheting, or the tv show I’m watching. When someone says no, it means they want or need to do something else that day. Let them.

People usually give hints that someone is being too clingy. Use these hints as a signal to back off and give your friend some space.

Hints that you need to give your friend some breathing room:

  • Your friend rarely answers the first time you call or text.
  • You find that you’re always the one contacting your friend
  • Your friend often makes excuses as to why they can’t get together with you.
  • Your friend often refuses your help and insists on doing things on their own.
  • Your friend has mentioned that they have lots of hobbies they enjoy.
  • Your friend has had a kindly discussion with you about her need for alone time or your need to respect her space.
  • Your friend is vague about their plans (this is so you won’t invite yourself).
  • You often get little surprise gifts for your friend but they rarely do the same for you.

It’s not too late to change your ways! Good luck!

These people have given you your answer, but not in the way they think. Disgraceful. Friendships are not about any of the issues they've discussed. These are unaware people and a big reason there are so SO many people asking exactly the same question you have. Real friendships are not about whats convenient or solely what makes YOU feel good. They are intimate human bonds that should be about love and support. They don't dissolve because someone has children. If they do then those people weren't friends they were unaware parasites. CHoose kind caring people as friends and support them no matte

These people have given you your answer, but not in the way they think. Disgraceful. Friendships are not about any of the issues they've discussed. These are unaware people and a big reason there are so SO many people asking exactly the same question you have. Real friendships are not about whats convenient or solely what makes YOU feel good. They are intimate human bonds that should be about love and support. They don't dissolve because someone has children. If they do then those people weren't friends they were unaware parasites. CHoose kind caring people as friends and support them no matter what your or their circumstances. Having a friend because theyhave children and that's more convenient for you is BULLSHIT. Its bull -- shit, and it blows my mind that the majority of people on this planet are so incredibly facile. You only need a few good friends in life and you absolutely stick by them no matter what. Moving from group to group of convenient friendships is rubbish, and if I had a dollar for every man or woman I know who's done this unaware shit and then fallen to pieces when they've lost their partner or a child becomes ill or they've become ill and they've shockingly discovered then THEY don't appear to have any friends, I'd be a billionaire. You don't have to choose between caring for your friends or a family -- that's a laughable lie and an excuse to go through life without giving any consideration to whom you hurt. A small group of wonderful friends you keep no matter what their circumstances -- or your's -- is what everybody should strive for and I can assure you, one day you just might really REALLY need them. I'm just absolutely shocked by these people. Shocked. No wonder our world is such a mess.

I guess ask yourself why you should avoid doing so. If it’s because that person is a toxic person to have in your life, then slowly do it. Text less, be busy, etc to avoid excessive drama. Create space.

If that person isn’t toxic and is someone you want in your life, then why are you avoiding getting too close to them?

Unless you’re afraid to fall for them or for them to fall for you. If it’s to avoid a romance, and you’re not interested in that person, talk to that person about the specific person that you’re interested in and tell them who it is and get their advice. That will make a person ba

I guess ask yourself why you should avoid doing so. If it’s because that person is a toxic person to have in your life, then slowly do it. Text less, be busy, etc to avoid excessive drama. Create space.

If that person isn’t toxic and is someone you want in your life, then why are you avoiding getting too close to them?

Unless you’re afraid to fall for them or for them to fall for you. If it’s to avoid a romance, and you’re not interested in that person, talk to that person about the specific person that you’re interested in and tell them who it is and get their advice. That will make a person back off real quick if they like you and move on.

If it’s because you are starting to fall for them and are interested in that person and you fear rejection because they seem to only like you as a friend. Test the waters of romance in baby steps and see how they respond. Don’t be surprised if you're a good friend and they miss the cues at first. That’s normal. Just keep them coming until they pick up on them or show them more in a obvious way. Most people don’t see a close friend in a romantic way, unless that person gives them a reason to. You have to change the way they see you by how you treat them and act around them. Compliment them. Show them you listen to them, that you care. Flirt with them. If they respond that they aren’t interested, then you can detach yourself and move on. If they are interested, that’s great. You guys can decide where to go from there.

One of my batch-mates from college had a habit of making fun of and ridiculing everyone. Each time someone shared something - an incident that made them happy, a new beginning that they were looking forward to, their friendships and relationships, their beliefs etc - she would find something negative in it and start blaberring about how it wasn’t as good as it seemed or how good things don’t last long or why the person should be concerned about their new relationship or sometimes even going to the extent of that person’s upbringing background and how they had been (negatively) influenced by it

One of my batch-mates from college had a habit of making fun of and ridiculing everyone. Each time someone shared something - an incident that made them happy, a new beginning that they were looking forward to, their friendships and relationships, their beliefs etc - she would find something negative in it and start blaberring about how it wasn’t as good as it seemed or how good things don’t last long or why the person should be concerned about their new relationship or sometimes even going to the extent of that person’s upbringing background and how they had been (negatively) influenced by it. The result? She always managed to spoil the mood of other people and demotivate them. And the best part was, she was all so sweet doing all of these things that sometimes even the smartest people would get confused if she was actually right!
When I was a victim of the above situation, I tried to reason with her how her perspective could be wrong, but soon I realized that she did this all deliberately , just so she could piss people off.

Four years of college taught me that you can ignore such people’s existence and that would work wonderfully for you - but the sad part is, you cannot always do that!

You are always going to have such people around and there are going to be many instances when the situation would demand that you get along with them and the thing that helps you here is control over your emotions - hold yourself responsible for the way you react and feel. If required, talk to these people just the same way as you would with any random person but make sure that your actions and emotions are governed by the people and things that matter to you!

Cheers!

im in a similar situation. me and two friends decided to create a discord server together because that was the only app we had in common, although this isnt important. i have one friend who.. well… isnt really a friend, but more of a person who chats with us. for some reason, this person has a grudge against me. we constantly enter heated arguments. my other friend is my best friend. he always helps me and my other friend out to try and stop the argument, and he’s brilliant at it. but recently, my friend got tired of our fighting and decided to stop helping… just me. thats right, he sided with

im in a similar situation. me and two friends decided to create a discord server together because that was the only app we had in common, although this isnt important. i have one friend who.. well… isnt really a friend, but more of a person who chats with us. for some reason, this person has a grudge against me. we constantly enter heated arguments. my other friend is my best friend. he always helps me and my other friend out to try and stop the argument, and he’s brilliant at it. but recently, my friend got tired of our fighting and decided to stop helping… just me. thats right, he sided with my other friend. every single thing that now happens in our group is blamed on me. they never ask my opinion and always find a way to put me down. the thing that annoys me the most, however, is that i changed almost every aspect of my personality to adjust to them. i started playing weird games, watching Youtube 3 times as much, and pretending to fit in. they never changed at all. they constantly go ‘you need to adapt to our personalities, how can you be a good friend if you don’t value others opinion’s?’ im really angry now. i cant tell them my opinion, because they won’t give me a chance, whenever i try, they block me. in fact, i’ve been blocked for almost a week now. in a few days i go back to school, but they’ll just get my remaining friends to block us and cover up the situation.

Have you seen the sign on a car at its rear saying ‘U R 2 close’?. That’s it! Being too close can cause discomfort. That is, if there is no valid or valuable purpose. Even little toddlers are irritated when mothers or fathers attend to them all the time and show their intimacy although the little ones love to be cuddled AT TIMES.

The fact is, more you get closer more you get to see the other side of each which was not noticed when at a distance. But if you consider A. B & C as close friends then you have got to accept their weaker nature as well. And you too have to be free to be noticed in the

Have you seen the sign on a car at its rear saying ‘U R 2 close’?. That’s it! Being too close can cause discomfort. That is, if there is no valid or valuable purpose. Even little toddlers are irritated when mothers or fathers attend to them all the time and show their intimacy although the little ones love to be cuddled AT TIMES.

The fact is, more you get closer more you get to see the other side of each which was not noticed when at a distance. But if you consider A. B & C as close friends then you have got to accept their weaker nature as well. And you too have to be free to be noticed in the same way. Once notice, they are bound to make comments that would annoy you.

So, before stepping into a deeper friendship you must be willing to pay the price of exposing most of yourself by and by. If that could be handled with the right attitude then the bond will last. Or else it would snap at a point. Being at arms length would be the safe option for those who cannot.

This is one of the reasons where marriages fail because the couple begins to see the the grey areas which were overlooked at the beginning as they came together. BUT an understanding spouses build their marital vows on firm and good understanding and principles that would see them through despite seen and unforeseen negatives in one another.

So dear, be a sponge to absorb their irritant comments or acts with a heart determined to hold on to the friendship, no matter what!

One way is the gradual way. You don’t contact them. If they contact you, you are cordial but unenthusiastic and you keep the conversations brief. If they suggest hanging out, let them know you’re not interested or have already made other plans. You just keep doing that until they stop contacting you. During the time this is going on, they might ask you what’s wrong. I personally believe the truth is best. A Possible answer might be, “Nothing is wrong. I just seem to fit in better with other people. I’m not mad at you. I just don’t think we make a good friendship fit anymore.”

Obviously there ar

One way is the gradual way. You don’t contact them. If they contact you, you are cordial but unenthusiastic and you keep the conversations brief. If they suggest hanging out, let them know you’re not interested or have already made other plans. You just keep doing that until they stop contacting you. During the time this is going on, they might ask you what’s wrong. I personally believe the truth is best. A Possible answer might be, “Nothing is wrong. I just seem to fit in better with other people. I’m not mad at you. I just don’t think we make a good friendship fit anymore.”

Obviously there are more ways to do it. But this might work for you. A less gradual way would be to contact them or speak to them in person and just tell them you no longer want to be friends with them and tell them why. This gets you out of the situation more quickly.

Two important things I’d like to mention would be, 1) Don’t be unnessarily mean. Speak the truth as tactfully as possible. Your goal isn’t to hurt the person, but rather to remove yourself from the friendship. 2) IF POSSIBLE, remain on good terms with them. I mean don’t intentionally take them from friend to enemy in one fell swoop. If possible, somewhere is the middle, like an acquaintance is best.

I realize some people will not remain on good terms with you and that’s okay if THEY choose that.

Yes. I've been let down by people I called friends a lot of times. I no longer consider any person in my life to be trustworthy. My life has pretty much taken a bad 180 degree turn in the last couple of years, and a part of the reason for that is me being delusional about having great friends.

At the same time, I'm no one to complain. At this point of time in my life, each and everyone I know would consider me a let down. The one or two people that I had who considered me a good friend, I've let them down countless number of times, due to my own selfish mental issues.

So yeah, I've let down, and

Yes. I've been let down by people I called friends a lot of times. I no longer consider any person in my life to be trustworthy. My life has pretty much taken a bad 180 degree turn in the last couple of years, and a part of the reason for that is me being delusional about having great friends.

At the same time, I'm no one to complain. At this point of time in my life, each and everyone I know would consider me a let down. The one or two people that I had who considered me a good friend, I've let them down countless number of times, due to my own selfish mental issues.

So yeah, I've let down, and I've been let down. It goes both ways.