How do I deal with the hurt of being replaced, jealousy, extreme loneliness, and sadness?

Pain and sadness after a breakup attest to the fact that humans are designed for relationships. We are social creatures. It is natural for us to care deeply for those we are close to and grieve when those relationships are terminated. Don’t feel bad for battling with these emotions. They are normal and to be expected.

That being said, the question now is how to move forward. One of the most important tools here is having healthy relationships with other people, family and close friends, who can support you during this time, listen to your pain, and encourage you as you ride the emotional roller

Pain and sadness after a breakup attest to the fact that humans are designed for relationships. We are social creatures. It is natural for us to care deeply for those we are close to and grieve when those relationships are terminated. Don’t feel bad for battling with these emotions. They are normal and to be expected.

That being said, the question now is how to move forward. One of the most important tools here is having healthy relationships with other people, family and close friends, who can support you during this time, listen to your pain, and encourage you as you ride the emotional roller coaster a breakup can bring. The more strong relationships you have developed, the more support you’ll have now when you really need it.

What if you don’t have many other friends? It is never too late to start. While jumping into a new romantic relationship immediately is probably a bad idea, striking up new friendships are a good way to move forward.

What else? Rediscover your interests by revisiting old hobbies or developing new ones. Look for opportunities to volunteer. Find ways to encourage and support others who are going through hard times. All of these things can rebuild your confidence, while giving you a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment that can help you move forward with your life.

Lastly, take care of yourself. Find ways to give your mind a break and lay down all the anger, sadness, jealousy, etc. You might feel compelled to keep mentally rehashing the problems and negative feelings, Just tell yourself that you will process it all later. Right now you need to take a break and relax your mind. Don’t forget to look out for yourself physically as well. Eat right, get your sleep, exercise, you need to keep yourself in top shape so that you have the strength to work through all of this.

I know it can feel like this crushing load will never go away, but there is hope. Eventually, if you keep your focus on the future and keep laying down the past, you will be able to look back and say “that was tough, but I am a stronger person because of it, and there are so many good things going on in my life now that I hardly think of it anymore.”

Let go of the idea that you can be replaced, and stop being jealous of the person who is the next victim. Take time to grieve, reach out to the people in your life that love you, and make plans. Remember that being with a person who does not want you, is not a prize--it is settling for less than you deserve. Stop the cycle of pain and injury. Focus on not sending the pain inflicted on you out to someone else. Stand with your head held high, and walk out the door like winner you are. And when any one asks, tell them that there is more to life than being in a lousy relationship, and you are goin

Let go of the idea that you can be replaced, and stop being jealous of the person who is the next victim. Take time to grieve, reach out to the people in your life that love you, and make plans. Remember that being with a person who does not want you, is not a prize--it is settling for less than you deserve. Stop the cycle of pain and injury. Focus on not sending the pain inflicted on you out to someone else. Stand with your head held high, and walk out the door like winner you are. And when any one asks, tell them that there is more to life than being in a lousy relationship, and you are going to live it.

Time. That's the only thing that heals broken hearts.

Now my grandmother man, she was a fire cracker. She once told me “ to get over one man best get under another" not saying it is the best advise but it sure would take your mind off that relationship. When I have gone through some ruff break ups it helped to just get online and chat with others. Also if it is something that is on social media block the person for a while so you don't see it so much.

Here are my 10 ideas about jealousy:

1. Jealousy is unpleasant. What, you are jealous of someone? Come on, man, that is so childish and immature. Just kidding. We are all jealous. All of us. And that is one of the emotions we are not so proud of. We’ll all brag about how happy and fulfilling our lives are. We’ll bitch when we’re angry. When we’re sad or disappointed, we will confess to our best friend. But when we’re jealous…we’ll keep it for ourselves. We’ll try to hide it. We should be over those childish things by now. The truth is, we are not. Jealousy won’t disappear only if we pretend it

Here are my 10 ideas about jealousy:

1. Jealousy is unpleasant. What, you are jealous of someone? Come on, man, that is so childish and immature. Just kidding. We are all jealous. All of us. And that is one of the emotions we are not so proud of. We’ll all brag about how happy and fulfilling our lives are. We’ll bitch when we’re angry. When we’re sad or disappointed, we will confess to our best friend. But when we’re jealous…we’ll keep it for ourselves. We’ll try to hide it. We should be over those childish things by now. The truth is, we are not. Jealousy won’t disappear only if we pretend it does not exist. We need to talk about it.

2. Jealousy is a compass. Like a needle of a compass pointing to the north, jealousy will infallibly point to the things you desire the most. We usually feel indifferent about the things we don’t desire and goals we don’t identify with. For example, when I see someone buying a new house, I don’t really care. But when I see someone pursuing his art and having a great, responsive audience, my face turns green! Am I a bad person? Probably not. This just means I am craving a creative expression rather than material possessions. Use your jealousy to define what you truly want.

3. Feel it, but don’t judge it. When you identify your jealousy, dig deeper and find out what is it trying to teach you. What desire is hidden underneath? And then accept it. Say: “Oh, wow. This is interesting. Good to know.” A big mistake that we make is that we are judging our jealousy and our dreams. We think we should not want what we want. And that is a big mistake. In words of Mary Oliver: “You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.” That sounds so comforting!

4. Social media makes it worse. And the reason is simple. Everybody is trying to put the highlights of their lives there. No one talks about dirty dishes, dirty diapers, working extra hours and having mac and cheese for dinner 5 days in a row. And that is life, too. Someone digs the photo from 5-year old archives (vacation in Mexico), posts it today and when you see it, you may feel as if your life is so boring. Social media gives us an unrealistic picture of life. If you find yourself being jealous too often, maybe it’s time to cut on social media. (I wrote these two posts that you might find helpful.)

5. Look at the whole picture. Just like the social media presents only the best of the best, we often perceive the people we don’t know much about based on their highest achievements. However, we usually miss the point because the impressive achievements always go hand in hand with hard work, focus and saying ‘no’ to instant gratification. Everyone is obsessed with Elon Musk, but I’m not sure how many people would like to have his work schedule. We would all like to have the benefits of going to the gym, without stepping away from our couch, which is impossible. When you analyze your jealousy, look at the whole picture and make sure that you do not only want the shiny part of the package.

6. Jealousy can come in different forms. Overly confident people, without any special reason to feel that way, PISS ME OFF. I can’t stand them. I thought the reason for it are my high moral standards. (Cough, cough.) But after watching the documentary about Tony Robbin’s, I started thinking about it in a different way. We are either attracted or completely repulsed (pissed off, as I would say) by the traits we don’t have. The first situation makes us gravitate towards partners that are very different from us. The second situation is a jealousy in an unusual form. I hate people that are overly confident because I don’t feel super confident myself. Look what traits drive you nuts. That is where you need to strengthen.

7. Comparison doesn’t make sense. You and I are two completely different people with different experiences, desires, talents, preferences and the comparison between the two of us simply does not make any sense. IQ doesn’t make sense because there are different types of intelligence. Standardized tests try to compare diverse people on one uniform scale and miss the point. There are endless ways in which we can compare and none of them make any sense. Plus it makes us focused on our differences, rather than similarities and makes us feel separated.

8. Bless those who have what you want. If someone is great, it doesn’t mean that he’s stealing the greatness from you and that you cannot be great as well. In this abundant universe, there is the place for all of us to be happy, fulfilled and outstanding in our own way. If someone else found an awesome job, it doesn’t mean there are fewer jobs available for you. It means that it is possible to get a good job, that if the other person did it, so can you. Cheer other people’s success. Even when you feel jealous. (Especially when you feel jealous.) If you judge what you desire, you block yourself from having it.

9. Jealousy is a call to action. When you envy someone, it usually means that you are not fully satisfied with the actions you are taking right now. Jealousy is an alarm, a call to action, an incentive to change. Use jealousy as a compass (idea #2) and, for God’s sake, do something! If you stay inert and trapped in your jealousy, it will only generate more jealousy and dissatisfaction.

10. Appreciate yourself. Grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence, and when we feel envy we often fail to appreciate who we are, what we have and in which ways our lives are good. It is so easy to fall into the trap of wanting what someone else has, but the trick is to love and want what you have, When you feel jealousy, try to give some extra love to your partner, kids, parents, friends, and yes, to yourself. Because you deserve it. I know you do.

I found this amazing quote in my notes: "In a society that profits from your self-doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act." (If anyone knows the author, please let me know.) I will leave you with a quote and the message that it’s OK to feel the jealousy, analyze it and do something smart with it. I hope this answer serves you.

Loneliness and emptiness are like monsters that keep eating at you, all the time. We can’t seem to fight them and after a point, we wonder if they are even worth fighting.

That said, hope and grace comes to our aid to counter both loneliness and emptiness, if we are willing to make some changes.

  • First, please believe that Actions come before Feelings. If you act and do - first, feelings will change - after. We often make the terrible and costly mistake of waiting to feel better before doing things. That does not work most times, as these nagging and tiring feelings don’t go away.
  • Get active - Wal

Loneliness and emptiness are like monsters that keep eating at you, all the time. We can’t seem to fight them and after a point, we wonder if they are even worth fighting.

That said, hope and grace comes to our aid to counter both loneliness and emptiness, if we are willing to make some changes.

  • First, please believe that Actions come before Feelings. If you act and do - first, feelings will change - after. We often make the terrible and costly mistake of waiting to feel better before doing things. That does not work most times, as these nagging and tiring feelings don’t go away.
  • Get active - Walk, run, push, pull. Do physical work. Physical activity energizes us and you will be surprised the effect even a little physical activity can have on you.
  • Read, a lot - Reading (i) beneficially distracts us from bad moods and (ii) Empowers us by making us wiser. Don’t run to finish books. I was a ferocious reader and gave up on reading. I got back by reading small.
  • Engage, Serve - We lonely people MUST direct ourselves outwards. We tend to seek interesting and cool people and when they don’t engage, we feel worse. Time to change that. Engage with people who need you and can use even the lonely you. Serve, without expectations and self-importance. I am so energized after some volunteer duties. And you will find and make new friends.
  • Re-calibrate your assessment of your skills - Programming is a double edged sword. It is both fun and challenging. And like any other vocation, it may not be for everybody. If you can, see if you can improve by reading and experimenting with new stuff. So much is open-source and comes with so many sample projects. I once helped a friend who was in I.T. but both he and I could see he was not cut out to be a programmer. But he is a thorough researcher. Now he excels at installations, maintenance. He earns well and has gotten over his lament of programming woes.
  • Change your Vocation, if you want to - If programming is not giving you peace and joy and you got in because it is popular and pays well, you may find many other vocations that are not so demanding and yet pay well. You may have to educate yourself some. Explore other vocations.
  • Don’t lament Mediocrity - We are all mediocre and stupid in more than one things. Slowly, empower yourself by learning and get better. I once had a genius Math professor who told me as much. He was a mediocre student from a mediocre college. But he worked hard and practiced. करत करत अभ्यास के, जडमति होत सुझान” - Simpletons become wise from diligent practice. “रसरि आवत जात से सिल पर पडत निसान” - Just a mere jute rope, but constantly moving, can dent a hard rock.
  • Nothing is Set in Stone - There is so much grace in the world, only we step out of our comfort zone. We don’t stop driving because of a few failures. We don’t stop eating because we had a few bad meals or fell sick from the food. The core thing is - We need to stop giving so much weight to failures and be willing to accept that we are trying, we are learning and there will be roadblocks.
  • Celebrate and smile, rejoice in the company of others, even strangers - If you can, smile often. And respect and cherish whenever you have company, even in a shop. Talk to customers, to shopkeeper. Talk to the workers. There have been times when I was lost and miserably isolated. But I never stopped smiling, ever and others would feel my joy in being with them. The dried and parched land of my heart was flooded with soothing words.
  • Cut down on Expectations, a lot - Expectations, especially obsessive desires, are the bane of lonely people. If you meet someone who sounds nice, caring; please do not expect it to be always that way. There will be times the same nice person will be angry, or aloof. That is normal, they are people too. Please don’t take it as a personal loss when the engagement is not consistent. The others will feel your disillusionment, through your words and actions. They may withdraw further. If you can, accept even just a little bit of honey.
  • Entertain yourself - Basically, go out. Have fun. Stop taking things so seriously. Watch movies. Sit in a park. Say and do silly things (don’t offend others of course). Travel. Take care of yourself, my friend - Eat well, sleep well, listen to music. Learn to paint. And again, do not be too hard on yourself seeking perfection. Step-by-step.
  • Believe in the Power of Small - Make a plan and take small steps. Celebrate and reward yourself when you meet your targets. Keep a journal.
  • And most important of all - Believe that you are not alone ! Because you are not, finding kindred souls takes time and effort (and surrender, I must add) I am hoping and praying you are in good health. If you are and if you serve, you are in very good company already.

Here is a wonderful story that cheered the lonely me when I was young (Yes, I have been a deep reader from a very young age. The movie is wonderful too, Mr. Poitier was every bit Mr. Braithwaite I expected):

Amazon.com: To Sir, With Love: Judy Geeson, Sidney Poitier, Adrienne Posta, Christian Roberts, James Clavell, Inc. Cee Productions: Movies & TV

Based on true events, educated Mr. Braithwaite is lost and angry. A chance meeting with a stranger in a park changes his life. And he changes the lives of so many others.

Please believe, my unknown friend, your life can be changed too. Only if you stop being so harsh and judgmental on yourself. Only if you accept the power of small. Only if you believe in your resolve in to change.

And only if you believe and act.

My humble and sincere prayers for your well-being and joy.

Why jealousy is counter-productive – Chengeer Lee – Medium

You may see all these “perfect” people on Instagram.

Good looks, fancy clothes, amazing sceneries on the background. Have you ever felts a spike of jealousy inside your heart?

I want to discuss the mindset towards someone’s success. There are 3 pieces of it that are of my particular interest.

Shall we?

Jealousy conundrum.

Jealousy is counterproductive. There are people who judge others for their money and success. But at the same time isn’t it the thing that they are so hungry for?

Rejection is the first initial reaction of a our monkey brain

Why jealousy is counter-productive – Chengeer Lee – Medium

You may see all these “perfect” people on Instagram.

Good looks, fancy clothes, amazing sceneries on the background. Have you ever felts a spike of jealousy inside your heart?

I want to discuss the mindset towards someone’s success. There are 3 pieces of it that are of my particular interest.

Shall we?

Jealousy conundrum.

Jealousy is counterproductive. There are people who judge others for their money and success. But at the same time isn’t it the thing that they are so hungry for?

Rejection is the first initial reaction of a our monkey brains.

Example.

A guy buys a new shiny car and puts a picture on Instagram.

The initial Rejection internally screams: “Oh! He is such a show-off. He thinks that he is better than others. He thinks that he looks so cool in his Lambo. Who are you without your fancy car and money?

You scroll down your Instagram feed and see another shirt-less guy on taking a picture of his perfect body and a beautiful woman beside him.

The Rejection: “Oh! Look at him. He thinks that he is so hot. He is only focused on his physical shell. Maybe he is dumb af. He doesn’t focus on his intelligence and spiritual life like I do. And look at that Barbie next to him. I bet she is a dummy too.

He lost his soul in these meaningless shallow hookups with hot girls. He will never understand the depth of the real human connection.

Many people condemn others for being charismatic, beautiful and rich with an internal desire to be like those successful people. If you accidentally recognized yourself in these lines I want to ask you:

How can you desire success and despise it at the same time?

When I found that this is absolutely absurd I taught myself to appreciate the success of others.

If I see a guy that is ripped I see behind his body, I see the amount of work and self-discipline he was willing to put to achieve this physique. Being in the gym almost every day myself, I know how much pain he needed to overcome in order to look like this and that is why I admire his willpower.

If I see a guy who is rich, I know that similarly to the guy from the gym, the rich guy “lifted heavy”. He was grinding twice as hard for the same things many people wish to have in life but don’t want to work their asses off. He was working when others were sleeping, he was studying when others chose to procrastinate, he was creating content when others were consuming it, and that is why he succeeded.

If I see a beautiful woman. I take a moment of appreciation of her beauty. But I understand that there are some challenges associated with it. All her life she has to live in some strange reality where people just give her things for the way she looks. Many people will not be nice to her and will have hard time relating to her problems simply because of the jealousy and many will not take her seriously thinking that she is a shallow bimbo without the slightest traces of intellect.

I also understand that it doesn’t matter how beautiful a woman is on the picture because I know that in reality she still poops, she has periods, her mouth smells in the morning and she looks ugly when she cries drunk for a stupid reason messing up her mascara all over her face. She will become old one day and her beauty will fade away. Sorry, ladies Real beauty is in the soul and the mind.

The other side of the medal

When I was a kid my Mom used to watch that old Mexican TV series called “Los ricos también lloran” which literally means “The rich also cry”.

Rich do cry. Maybe they don’t get disappointed with the same things as the people with average income but the universal problems are the same for everyone. It doesn’t matter if you are rich or poor, good looking or not:

  • you will die
  • you have a risk of terminal diseases
  • you lose people you love throughout your life

No amount of money, good looks, and external signs of success can decrease the suffering that comes from these things.

I recently rewatched a Kazakhstan movie called “Racketeer”. It’s not a masterpiece of cinematography at all but I like it. I am a bit patriotic. I love my city.

In one of the last scenes, the main hero Sayan finds and punishes the traitor Zhan — a rich and influential man who used to be a friend in the past but betrayed the gang. He puts the gun in Zhan’s mouth breaking his teeth. The betrayer could feel the tastes of sweat, tears, saliva, blood and a cold metal pointed to his throat mixing in his mouth.

“Racketeer”

I can imagine this was the taste of death. The taste of final truth. A rather simple truth apparently:

Nothing matters.

None of his cars, no money, no house, no bank or factory that he owned, none of the respect, influence or success were important at the moment he faced death. He was about to lose his life and he wasn’t ready.

The Death is the ultimate equalizer. We all will be milled into the space dust between the grindstones of time.

Memento mori.

Refocus

I don’t use Instagram. I used to use it a lot but I learned soon that it doesn’t contribute any value to my life.

Moreover, indeed after I have been observing myself long-enough I understood that constant observation of the pictures of “perfect” people just builds up the frustration.

So why do I need a thing in my life that steals my time, doesn’t add up value and makes me frustrated.

I refocused myself.

I seek for people who know that they are flawed but learned how to embrace it. I love people who are humble and down to earth and understand that they are not important. I respect healthy perfectionists that realize that perfectionism is not perfect.

Life is too short to spend your precious time on destructive emotions such as jealousy.

Shall we just go and do our best with what we have, where we are? We can be grateful for the looks that nature gave us and push it to the limit with our efforts in gym and creativity in style. We can read books, study and develop our depth to find the source of such charisma and magnetism that will never be attainable by any physical beauty. We can transform the space around us to project our inner light so that others could behold and absorb our soul from our craft.

There is so much more to us that we don’t allow ourselves to explore.

Let’s be daring and brave.

Shall we?


The first thing I would say to you is stop paying attention to what others are doing especially when it doesn’t feel good to you. This is the tiniest act of compassion you can easily offer yourself.

Next, I would ask you to consider what you would do if you were dealing with a 4 year old child looking across a playground, wanting to play with the other kids but for some reason he can’t or not allowed. What would you do? Would you keep the child watching in pain or would you try to distract him in anyway you can?

That is what I am suggesting you do to yourself. Love yourself enough to find someth

The first thing I would say to you is stop paying attention to what others are doing especially when it doesn’t feel good to you. This is the tiniest act of compassion you can easily offer yourself.

Next, I would ask you to consider what you would do if you were dealing with a 4 year old child looking across a playground, wanting to play with the other kids but for some reason he can’t or not allowed. What would you do? Would you keep the child watching in pain or would you try to distract him in anyway you can?

That is what I am suggesting you do to yourself. Love yourself enough to find something to distract you from paying attention to things that you can’t do anything about. Sit with yourself and make a list of all the things you enjoy doing, places you can visit, new projects you can start, or some hobby you can get back into. Find anything that you can derive some sense of pleasure from and immerse yourself in it. You will be amazed how quickly you will forget what is going on outside of you. But more importantly, in time, you learn to accept the situation as it is without resentment or any hard feelings. In fact you can get to a point where you are actually happy for others, wishing them more fun times together while you remain content and satisfied within yourself.

The last point I want to add is that the quickest way to get something you want, is through giving it. If you want fun with friends to enter your life, be fun for others. I’m sure you can work that one out :)

Thank you Ethan Kershner for the A2A.

well that happened to me, a lot of times actually.

thing is people find new people that they like And forget about the ones that they have.

Now those who are forgotten or replaced feel the worst in this case and are the only ones who suffer.

  1. It's part of your life, people will always replace you if they find a better person for the job that you were doing for them because people who replace their close ones aren't really deserving of you and the relationship they had was one sided only.
  2. Chuck it up, cry, scream, then eat ice-cream I guess, but ya cry a lot, do take your anger out just don't let th

well that happened to me, a lot of times actually.

thing is people find new people that they like And forget about the ones that they have.

Now those who are forgotten or replaced feel the worst in this case and are the only ones who suffer.

  1. It's part of your life, people will always replace you if they find a better person for the job that you were doing for them because people who replace their close ones aren't really deserving of you and the relationship they had was one sided only.
  2. Chuck it up, cry, scream, then eat ice-cream I guess, but ya cry a lot, do take your anger out just don't let the feeling of getting replaced die inside you as its ghost won't let you live. So yes, take it all out.
  3. You know getting replaced so many times makes you tough, you go numb and then finally a day comes when you don't care about the people who replaced you and that is the best feeling in the world, “the feeling of moving on and forgiving” and to reach that you just gotta stay strong and be patient.
  4. And yeah accept it, accept that you got replaced and then move on because honey you're gold, anyone who will get you would be lucky as hell. And someday those people will cry inside who dared to replace a masterpiece like you.

How you do overcome loneliness?

If that is something that you don’t want, you have options in plenty.

Socialize, meet your friends. Go out on a trip. Give enough reasons for yourself that you have a lot of things to do that involves a whole lot of people.

Loneliness is a state of mind. You got to speak out. Move on. And meet people. Make friends and build relations.

Regret of wasted time in the past?

There’s nothing much you can do about it. When you feel the time is already wasted, why again wasting your time in regretting? Instead, think how well you can make it up for the time wasted in the past

How you do overcome loneliness?

If that is something that you don’t want, you have options in plenty.

Socialize, meet your friends. Go out on a trip. Give enough reasons for yourself that you have a lot of things to do that involves a whole lot of people.

Loneliness is a state of mind. You got to speak out. Move on. And meet people. Make friends and build relations.

Regret of wasted time in the past?

There’s nothing much you can do about it. When you feel the time is already wasted, why again wasting your time in regretting? Instead, think how well you can make it up for the time wasted in the past.

Plan. Learn. Educate. Grow. (Keep this in mind and I’m sure you will feel much better in the days to come.)

Feeling of Jealousy?

When you implement the aforementioned points, you get no time to feel jealous about someone.

Jealousy does no good for you. Be content with what you have. That’s what life is all about!

Self love is key. Jealousy often comes in 3 forms in my eyes

  1. From things we can’t control so why give it any thought in the first place
  2. From things we can control so a bit of jealously can help act as motivation (e.g. see someone stronger than you at the gym) otherwise being jealous is only there due to someone else working harder towards a goal you could achieve
  3. Ensuring the people we place trust in are trustworthy. I know I can rely on my close group of relationships if needed, hence jealously doesn’t really enter my mind much

If someone is trying to make me jealous I have the natural reaction o

Self love is key. Jealousy often comes in 3 forms in my eyes

  1. From things we can’t control so why give it any thought in the first place
  2. From things we can control so a bit of jealously can help act as motivation (e.g. see someone stronger than you at the gym) otherwise being jealous is only there due to someone else working harder towards a goal you could achieve
  3. Ensuring the people we place trust in are trustworthy. I know I can rely on my close group of relationships if needed, hence jealously doesn’t really enter my mind much

If someone is trying to make me jealous I have the natural reaction of internally laughing at them, it displays to me they are trying to get my attention which is nice but simply talking to me is a much better method. If someone is trying to get me to be jealous for the wrong reasons e.g. to annoy/harm me, they can often find I won’t react as it literally isn’t worth my time.

Example: Girl that’s interested in me is ensuring where ever I am at a house party she is pulling the hottest guy there while making eye contact with me. Honestly, it was one of the biggest turn off I’ve ever experienced, not just from how simple it was but more it indicates the maturity of someone. If they want my attention, talk to me and tell me how you feel or an issue that you may have, I’m not one to be toyed around with. This would also cross over if you’re trying to make me jealous by talking about everything you’re doing with your partner, it doesn’t impress me, it just acts in a similar manner. If I was inclined I could bring a hot date next time meeting with the same person, but I won’t as it wouldn’t be fair to use a girl for the purpose, it’s not worth harming someone to make a point or to play games.

Perfect exists only in those fairytales but now these tales have taken the form of Facebook, Instagram and other kind of social media.

I have a living breathing example of this, there is this friend of mine who has the most amazing pictures, all well edited and with the perfect smile , so I went through her notes because that is the one place on the smartphones we chose to embrace yourselves and honestly I was not even shocked to see how screwed up her life really was, she used to cry herself to sleep and was in a constant war with the monsters within . So that perfect life is a myth everyone h

Perfect exists only in those fairytales but now these tales have taken the form of Facebook, Instagram and other kind of social media.

I have a living breathing example of this, there is this friend of mine who has the most amazing pictures, all well edited and with the perfect smile , so I went through her notes because that is the one place on the smartphones we chose to embrace yourselves and honestly I was not even shocked to see how screwed up her life really was, she used to cry herself to sleep and was in a constant war with the monsters within . So that perfect life is a myth everyone has problems and they chose to show only selected aspects of their life on social media and we believe it's all true.

That picture of mine was taken in Mumbai, that was one of the saddest days of my life because I had lost all my support and had lost just because I picked the wrong side, our project was a joke and we were all quiet disappointed so we went to this juhu beach and spent like 5 minutes there but we were soo stressed and disappointed that we lost, we didn't have any fun. When I posted it on Facebook everyone thought that Mumbai was the best experience that I have ever had till date.

I used to feel bad because I didn't have​ that perfect life but then I realised that being awesome was better than being sad. I might not be very smart or handsome but I wake up every morning and look at the person in the mirror and tell myself “that is the person I am jealous of and others don't even matter” because this world we live in is a mean one and dosent leave any opportunity to put you down. Don't ever feel bad instead feel happy about the things you currently have.

Happiness is found within and the day you start to believe that you are just awesome the way you are, then you find the type of perfect you are in search of.

Just remember to be yourself and never try to be like your friend who might be called “cool”, stop worrying about anyone and focus on your goals. Concentrate on finding yourself and do not ever define who you are or who you can be by looking at your friends Facebook profile.

Having feelings and being “a screw up” aren’t the same thing. Not at all.

One failure doesn’t make you a screw-up. It makes you, like the rest of us, a person who sometimes has to try again.

It sounds as if something might have turned out badly for you recently. Maybe a relationship?

Feelings of being lost after a loss (of a person, belief, job, anything) or after a big change (a move, a change in job or relationship) are normal. Maybe you are overwhelmed right now. Often, when a person is feeling lost or overwhelmed, the best thing is to withdraw and focus on what the changes in your life mean t

Having feelings and being “a screw up” aren’t the same thing. Not at all.

One failure doesn’t make you a screw-up. It makes you, like the rest of us, a person who sometimes has to try again.

It sounds as if something might have turned out badly for you recently. Maybe a relationship?

Feelings of being lost after a loss (of a person, belief, job, anything) or after a big change (a move, a change in job or relationship) are normal. Maybe you are overwhelmed right now. Often, when a person is feeling lost or overwhelmed, the best thing is to withdraw and focus on what the changes in your life mean to you. What are the good things about your current situation? What are the less desirable things? What would you like to feel in the future (since you can’t change the past) and what changes can you make to make what you want more likely to happen? What parts of it can you control, and what can’t you control? Answering these questions won’t make a change or loss not happen, but they can help you feel more in control and hopeful about the future.

Think about what has hurt you. Analyze the situation. What are the good parts of what hurt you? (For example, say the hurt is the loss of a friend. Were there parts of the relationship you treasured? What were they?) What are the parts that are most hurtful? What can you do, what changes can you make in yourself, to make what you treasured happen again?

Think about what you are jealous of. Sometimes in life, we take a loss or end up with less, or another person has what we want. All you really can do is make note of it, learn from it, and move on. Ask yourself what you can learn from your experience, and use that new knowledge to help you the next time the same situation occurs.

Everyone feels lonely from time to time. Sometimes a person wants to socialize, and no one else is around. If you’re feeling lonely all the time, what can you do to engage with other people? Take a class, volunteer, get out there! In fact, you are engaging with people (like me, who decided to answer your question) right now. So, you have the power to connect with other people. How can you use your power to make yourself feel less lonely?

I hope you spend some time answering the questions here for yourself. You can learn, grow, and feel more in control of your emotional life by going over your feelings, comparing them to the facts, learning from experiences, and making decisions about how you want to proceed.