How do I accept that everyone will leave you in the end?

Try to see your statement in pretty round way.

U will leave everyone at the end. I think this give u higher edge then everyone else. U are the leader, u choose who would stay or not.

Do the let people treat u like a doormat.

And I don't know, what so fearful about being alone. Don't u enjoy your own company?. There are some risks, choices we need to make sometimes in life that make us stand out of the crowd. And those moments have power to change your life completely.

U are unique, ur thinking, ambitions, mindset all are different. Ur destiny and hard work will take to ur own unique destination. B

Try to see your statement in pretty round way.

U will leave everyone at the end. I think this give u higher edge then everyone else. U are the leader, u choose who would stay or not.

Do the let people treat u like a doormat.

And I don't know, what so fearful about being alone. Don't u enjoy your own company?. There are some risks, choices we need to make sometimes in life that make us stand out of the crowd. And those moments have power to change your life completely.

U are unique, ur thinking, ambitions, mindset all are different. Ur destiny and hard work will take to ur own unique destination. Be cheerful.

When u come to this world. U were alone, u don't know anything,nobody,no relationship,no asset. I guessed u pretty much enjoy living like that too.

You can’t do anything about it happening but you can do something about it now. Enjoy every moment you have with them. Then when you’re gone at least you won’t torture yourself that you missed out.

If you love them they will live on in you as the happy memories you share.

There is one that will never leave you. Your self. Get to know yourself and you’ll never be lonely even when you’re alone.

You are not your ego, a separate entity in “the world.” You are actually Pure Consciousness, which contains all people and all things. Nothing can ever truly leave You. This is the highest spiritual perspective. On a practical basis, attachment is the cause of misery. Enjoy people and things as they are to you now, but do not hold on to them, for life is change and everything, including your body, will disappear before long. But You will exist eternally.

You are going to complete your school. You may not have touch with your close friends after you promoted to College. It means that you accepted that for your career. Once you done with college, you have to go for job. You can’t maintain friendship with all from your childhood. The time would made you accept the fact(everyone will leave you in the end). You are alwayz to be lone warrior.

I am sorry this is happening to you.

This is a personal opinion and not a professional answer. I will have to make assumptions on what you have written.

“…I’m a really nice person…”

The nice person persona as a survival strategy

Depending on how you were raised, you possibly feel obliged to be nice. So if you have authoritarian parents, come from a religious background or a background with a strict doctrine or you have something physical/psychological about you that differentiates you from others to the point that you are in a powerless position in relation to your peers. e.g. if you are a male yo

I am sorry this is happening to you.

This is a personal opinion and not a professional answer. I will have to make assumptions on what you have written.

“…I’m a really nice person…”

The nice person persona as a survival strategy

Depending on how you were raised, you possibly feel obliged to be nice. So if you have authoritarian parents, come from a religious background or a background with a strict doctrine or you have something physical/psychological about you that differentiates you from others to the point that you are in a powerless position in relation to your peers. e.g. if you are a male you are smaller than others, if you are female you are not as attractive to others, if you are slow, if you are LGBT, if you are of different ethnic origin to others in your neighbourhood, or If you have a disability. It may not always be the case but usually if someone is an outsider (of some sort) to the power group than this person has to work extra hard to be excepted. This includes being on the receiving end of questionable actions and attitudes.

If this is the case then you would have had to employ the approachable attitude of ‘I am a very nice person’ persona in order to survive your environment. You are not a bad person and you have done nothing wrong.

‘…Why are people leaving me and forgetting about me…’

The people you are hanging around with may not be so nice

Possibly because as much as they like to put across that they are nice, they are not. You can run into a situation where people will let you hang around them as some sort of public service activity, e.g. we don’t think that much of him/her but out of the goodness of our hearts we will let them hang around and tolerate them.

Understand that this attitude can be used against anyone regardless of who they are and how dynamic they are as a person. You can get groups out there that really are poisonous, small town mentality so to speak. You remember the tale of the ‘Ugly Duckling’. Well that Swan was surrounded by ducks and other animals that exhibit the ‘small town mentality’.

Finding the real you.

What can help is having a bit more faith in who you are. If you have been in an authoritarian environment you may be disconnected to the real person that you are.

I talk about this and the concept of feeling invisible in the below answer. If you look at the answer it will have links to articles that you could check out. Gabrielle Brendale's answer to How can I build self-esteem as a teenager? You may want to get a journal/diary and just record how you feel each day. this is personal stuff and not for the eyes of another, just record honestly what you think, don’t censor it. Be as nasty and confrontational as you like. This tunes you into your ideas and values.

Be aware that you could also be in an environment where someone is gaslighting you or crazymaking. Crazy Making, How to Handle a Crazymaker, I have just done a quick scan of these. See if they help. 10 Signs You Are a Victim of Gaslighting - David Avocado Wolfe, This one is on gaslighting, see if it helps.

I also talk about smiling too much in the next answer. This also has links to articles. Gabrielle Brendale's answer to Should I stop smiling too much when taking or listening to people?

Good social skills include having an awareness of what is happening around you. If you are too busy concentrating on impressing people you may be missing important subtle information.

People-Pleasing: The Hidden Dangers of Always Being “Too Nice” ⋆ LonerWolf This is a article about people pleasing. You may also want to look at neediness, How To Eliminate Neediness - 5 Proven Tips - Daniel Blake He is on youtube, more for about trying to hook up with girls but it has some really good ideas you can employ for day to day interactions.

Boundaries, this is a site on boundary setting. Put these into place and also ensure that you respect other people’s boundaries. Oh, and if the people who hang around you are use to you not having good boundaries and taking advantage of you, then you will probably cop grief for setting boundaries, just warning you.

You may also want to brush up on your social skills and interactions. Social Skills Picture Book for High School and Beyond: Jed Baker: 9781932565355: Amazon.com: Books This is a pretty good book - not only for people with autism, anyone can use it. See if your library has it.

Below is about Transactional Analysis - This is all about communication information and how we communicate with others. This is from another of my answers (I will put the link in as it also has a few links to sites.

‘…Transactional Analysis 1: ego states & basic transactions - TheraminTrees

He has three videos on Transactional Analysis - they are pretty good and break down the information so that it is easy to understand. You might not agree with everything in his other stuff but the TA stuff is pretty good…’

This is also from the same answer. It is about situations where you are being taken advantage of.

‘…Tips and tricks - I know I use to fall for the following. Person says to me. “What are you doing on Tuesday lunch time?” Me “Nothing” Person “OH, great, I going to lunch with the others in the office and we need someone to look after reception”. or something to that effect. If anyone says, ‘What are you doing (date) (time)?” without disclosing what they want from you, always say that you are busy. If it is an invitation you can always say yes later…’

From Gabrielle Brendale's answer to How do I stop being a target for people that manipulate or like to bully?

These next two sites are about how others can manipulate you. Don’t read up on them to know how to manipulate others. Rather, read up on them to know when it is happening to you.

"Get Anyone to Do Anything and Never Feel Powerless Again"

Influence

Try and break out of your really nice person persona. Unless you are breaking the law, hurting another or about to do an action that affects others, then you are really not required to justify you actions to others…well not unless they are the police etc. But you get what I mean. Good luck.

The same things I am doing now. In any circle of family and friends people leave, some move, but as we age, more and more move on. Soon there is only one person left. As odd as this sounds, someone has to be the last to go. Why shouldn't it be me? Why am I any more special than anyone else? I have a few friends who visit, but only one same-generation relative left. Whichever one of us goes first, the other will be the last one left. Humans have been on this planet for how many years. How often in that time has one of a family been the last? A million, a billion times? Big deal. The cats and I

The same things I am doing now. In any circle of family and friends people leave, some move, but as we age, more and more move on. Soon there is only one person left. As odd as this sounds, someone has to be the last to go. Why shouldn't it be me? Why am I any more special than anyone else? I have a few friends who visit, but only one same-generation relative left. Whichever one of us goes first, the other will be the last one left. Humans have been on this planet for how many years. How often in that time has one of a family been the last? A million, a billion times? Big deal. The cats and I will be here until I leave. I hope I will be at home when this happens. Then, in “a moment, in the twinkling of an eye,” I will not be alone.

God bless you, but you must be a young person to ask this question. I am old; I lived through World War Two; I have had a wonderful life. I am sitting surrounded by my Christmas decorations with one of my cats asleep on my lap*. The stereo is playing music. If I get hungry, there is a pan of shortbread in the pantry. All but one Christmas gift is bought and either sent out or waiting under my tree. I am not much worried about anything, least of all if I might be the last one of my generation’s family here on this earth. I'll be gone soon enough.

*My other cat has just joined us.

If you can't afford a good professional here's my advice which I've actually gathered by reading professional's work.

1- Be the source of your happiness:
It's the most terrible thing to depend on any kind of outer source for your happiness. If someone stays with me I'll be good. Bad habit. I had similar issue. I was praise oriented. I used to judge my performance & looks by people's opinion. Sometimes I was very happy but mostly it was very depressing. Also I've lived in three different cities so I'd to leave many friends but I had to. T

If you can't afford a good professional here's my advice which I've actually gathered by reading professional's work.

1- Be the source of your happiness:
It's the most terrible thing to depend on any kind of outer source for your happiness. If someone stays with me I'll be good. Bad habit. I had similar issue. I was praise oriented. I used to judge my performance & looks by people's opinion. Sometimes I was very happy but mostly it was very depressing. Also I've lived in three different cities so I'd to leave many friends but I had to. The key is never depend on any outer source for your happiness. Be the source of your pleasure. I've some projects & I've some friends for those projects but even if they refuse to be with me I'll pursue my goals because it's my life & my happiness and I'm responsible form my happiness.

2- Stop fantasizing about people
Here's the key. We fall under the spell of things or people we often fantasize about. It happens in love as well. Whenever you find yourself daydreaming about someone you fear he'll abandon you, stop it immediately.

3- Don't be like an open book
We like to talk about ourselves. We feel light & good when we do so but in the process we share our secrets & the deeds we're not proud of. Humans become more susceptible to those to whom they talk more about their selves. Stop doing it. Nurture the habit of shutting up & listening.

4- Improve your self-confidence & self-efficacy
The day you'll feel that you're self-sustainable all your fear & doubts shall vanish. Put effort in this area. Confidence doesn't come from positive hoping. It comes from positive knowing.
List your goals>>Start working>>Assess your performance>>Change strategy if required>>Go back to step one.

Recommended Books: The science of self confidence by Brian Tracy.
48 Laws of power by Robert Greene

Wish you happy & fearless life.

  1. There is an image of yourself standing in front of you.
  2. That image of yourself is the person who is driving people away from you.
  3. That image of yourself has projected something that is not right for others and that is why they are not coming close.
  4. That image of yourself is very powerful and never leaves.
  5. You need to be extremely strong to able to get past of that image, stand infront of it and look back at it.
  6. You need to be strong to understand why is this image is deflecting people.
  7. You feel trapped because of the image. Changing this image is near impossible but you need to try.
  8. People do not wat
  1. There is an image of yourself standing in front of you.
  2. That image of yourself is the person who is driving people away from you.
  3. That image of yourself has projected something that is not right for others and that is why they are not coming close.
  4. That image of yourself is very powerful and never leaves.
  5. You need to be extremely strong to able to get past of that image, stand infront of it and look back at it.
  6. You need to be strong to understand why is this image is deflecting people.
  7. You feel trapped because of the image. Changing this image is near impossible but you need to try.
  8. People do not watch people suffer. People do not feel good going near images of people that don’t project a right kind of aura.
  9. No other people is watching us at any time. The only one watch us is that image of ourselves standing in front of us.
  10. Be stronger than that image and change it. Everything will start to change.

I think this is a good time for you to sit by yourself and talk to yourself. Listen to your voice. Ask yourself some questions and try to find your answers within yourself. We all long company and at some point, even when we have access to resources, we are cut off by chance or choice. I have for example some disagreements with my family right now and I have missed them like crazy for sometime. Instead of going home and talking it out, I'v chosen to be alone and be with myself, because when I go there they'l start convincing me. So its a reverse of abandonment for me, where I have abandoned my

I think this is a good time for you to sit by yourself and talk to yourself. Listen to your voice. Ask yourself some questions and try to find your answers within yourself. We all long company and at some point, even when we have access to resources, we are cut off by chance or choice. I have for example some disagreements with my family right now and I have missed them like crazy for sometime. Instead of going home and talking it out, I'v chosen to be alone and be with myself, because when I go there they'l start convincing me. So its a reverse of abandonment for me, where I have abandoned myself. I has an impact on me and my studies, but I am learning to cope with it.. I HAVE to eventually, at some point. And trust me, everyone has to at somepoint. We are all individual souls and have our identities and when there is a clash or something, there is dissociation. So take it as an opportunity to know yourself. Because I bet you don't know as yet. What do you like? Creative arts/ business/ sciences; apart from your usual job? Do what keeps you happy and content in your skin. Don't run away from abandonment. People will be back in your life soon. If you really long company, go out in socializing places and meet new people. But please don't sit in a corner and repent and put over a melancholy thinking cap. Revive and live these lonely moments, trust me they are precious. Don't fear them! Its hard, it will repeat, but you will start loving them =)

So that they can have the most awesome lines, for leaving and returning:

  • Terminator: “I’ll be back…”
  • Surfer dude: “Cowabunga dude, catch you on the flip side”
  • Clark Gable: “Frankly my dear I don’t give a damn”
  • Carlitos Way: "Gettin’ the shakes now. Last call for drinks. Bar’s closin’ down. Sun’s out. Where we goin’ for breakfast? Don’t wanna go far... Rough night. Tired, baby... Tired..."
  • The Prodigal Son: person who spends money in a recklessly extravagant way …. a person who leaves home and behaves recklessly, but later makes a repentant return.
  • T2: "I know now why you cry. But it's something I ca

So that they can have the most awesome lines, for leaving and returning:

  • Terminator: “I’ll be back…”
  • Surfer dude: “Cowabunga dude, catch you on the flip side”
  • Clark Gable: “Frankly my dear I don’t give a damn”
  • Carlitos Way: "Gettin’ the shakes now. Last call for drinks. Bar’s closin’ down. Sun’s out. Where we goin’ for breakfast? Don’t wanna go far... Rough night. Tired, baby... Tired..."
  • The Prodigal Son: person who spends money in a recklessly extravagant way …. a person who leaves home and behaves recklessly, but later makes a repentant return.
  • T2: "I know now why you cry. But it's something I can never do. Goodbye."
  • Shakespeare: Parting is such sweet sorrow, That I shall say good night till it be morrow. (Juliette parting ways with Romeo)
  • John Gay: We only part to meet again

And by far the best goodbye scene: Goodfellas (1990)

voice-over) "See, the hardest thing for me was leaving the life. I still loved the life. And we were treated like movie stars with muscle. We had it all just for the asking. Our wives, mothers, kids, everybody rode along. I had paper bags filled with jewelry stashed in the kitchen. I had a sugar bowl full of coke next to the bed."

- "People call them rats because a rat will do anything to survive. Isn't that right, Mr. Hill."
- "Objection!"
- "Objection sustained."
- "I don't know nothing about being a rat."
- "Mr. Hill, You know everything about being a rat!"
- "Objection, Your Honor."
- (voice-over) "Anything I wanted was a phone call away. Free cars. The keys to a dozen hideout flats all over the city. I'd bet 20, 30 grand over a weekend, and then I'd either blow the winnings in a week or go to the sharks to pay back the bookies.
- "Didn't matter. It didn't mean anything. When I was broke, I would go out and rob some more. We ran everything. We paid off cops. We paid off lawyers. We paid off judges. Everybody had their hands out. Everything was for the taking. And now it's all over."
(voice-over) "And that's the hardest part. Today, everything is different. There's no action. I have to wait around like everyone else. Can't even get decent food. Right after I got here, I ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce and I got egg noodles and ketchup. I'm an average nobody. I get to live the rest of my life like a schnook."

Yes, without everyone leaving we would never know the sweetest of returns.

Namaste

No, it is because you are there for everyone when they need you. You are always putting yourself at the very back of your priority list. Change that.

Now onwards, put yourself front and center. Start going to occasions, functions, meetings that you feel add value to your life. Don't go to every party or every function you get invited to. Then, people would start noticing you are giving value to your time. They also would start giving value to your time.

Also, start having an attitude, if you didn't get invited to a party, great! You can use that time to do something that add value to your life.

No, it is because you are there for everyone when they need you. You are always putting yourself at the very back of your priority list. Change that.

Now onwards, put yourself front and center. Start going to occasions, functions, meetings that you feel add value to your life. Don't go to every party or every function you get invited to. Then, people would start noticing you are giving value to your time. They also would start giving value to your time.

Also, start having an attitude, if you didn't get invited to a party, great! You can use that time to do something that add value to your life. No cribbing, no crying, or no whining about the party. Have a totally cool and collected attitude, that you care only about the things you want. Don't just think like that, start feeling that.

Soon you would find you would be bogged with invitations. Don't make yourself available for every function/occasion that comes along.

Human nature-Hard to get people, are valued more!

All the very best! Regards,

Swaroopa Blog.

By realising and accepting the fact that this was always meant to happen. You see, as you progress in life your friends and mates get busy with their own lives. The friends who promised to be with you and love you to the end now seem to forget their promises. The parents that you believed would always be with you will also abandon you one day.You cannot blame them. That's how things are that's what always happens because the human life and society is kind of programmed that way ,but you could always be the best version of yourself and try to fit in wherever possible. Don't force yourself to fi

By realising and accepting the fact that this was always meant to happen. You see, as you progress in life your friends and mates get busy with their own lives. The friends who promised to be with you and love you to the end now seem to forget their promises. The parents that you believed would always be with you will also abandon you one day.You cannot blame them. That's how things are that's what always happens because the human life and society is kind of programmed that way ,but you could always be the best version of yourself and try to fit in wherever possible. Don't force yourself to fit in . The first step would be to love yourself and get busy in improving yourself and working towards your own self. Eventually people will come back to you but don't forget that they too will abandon you one day. Just don't let your own self abandon you because then you would no longer exist and that is the worst thing ever . As an awesomely true saying goes:

“ life is like boarding a train where passengers come and go , eventually they will abandon you once they reach their destination and so will you once you reach yours”.